Trailer Talk is a feature at Glued 2 The Screen that will appear each month. We’re going to break down the movies opening within the month and let you know whether or not you should go see them based solely on their trailer.

Riddick- September 6

Vin Diesel kills a guy by catching a machete with his foot and then kicking it so that the machete flies through the air and slices the guy’s face in half… I might be sold. This trailer basically shows the bulk of a pretty cool scene in Riddick where Diesel is captured by some random people, stays calm even when he’s about to be executed, and then flips the script out of nowhere after these dragon/monster things start attacking the group. The guy who was going to execute Diesel is the guy that took the machete to the face. You gotta love that.

Verdict: It won’t win any awards, except maybe a Razzie, but if you’re into some absurd action and mindless violence then this movie is probably a safe bet for you (and me).

The Family- September 13

Oh no, not another De Niro stinker. You just had Silver Linings Playbook, your best role in years, and now you’re going to follow it up with this? How are we supposed to trust you and your decision-making as of late with Killing Season, The Big Wedding, and New Year’s Eve as some of the most recent movies on your IMDB resume. I mean, I couldn’t be more worried going into this trailer….wait a minute…did I just see Martin Scorsese’s name?

De Niro! You brilliant man! You teamed up with the man that helped you as a young actor to make you into who you are today. Now, this executive producer title is probably for show and I doubt Scorsese has much involvement with this film and its very lackluster trailer, but I also doubt Scorsese would associate his name with a complete stinker.

Verdict: I’m on team Scorsese. De Niro could have his fans worried but they have to be more than pleased with Scorsese being involved.

Insidious: Chapter 2- September 13

My thought process through this trailer:

0:05 Oh, this isn’t so bad. Look at the cute kid playing with his father with that lovely song playing in the background. Aw, and the mom is seeing what a great husband she has.

0:13 That’s nice, the kid got a gift. I wonder what it is. Man this music is putting me at ease.

0:19 What encouraging words. They have their son back! They’re a family again! They’re going to be ok. I’m rooting for them.

0:30 What happened to the nice music? Shouldn’t there be a kid in that stroller?

0:40 Wait a minute! She wasn’t there before!

0:55 Now there’s creepy music playing. How dare they lull me into a comfort and then do this to me. I’m so scared.

1:21 HIS TEETH ARE FALLING OUT. OH GOD. OH… that’s actually not very frightening. I’m still very scared though.

1:40-2:00 My brain is screaming.

2:03 HE’S GOT YOUR BABY! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Verdict: Way too terrifying for me. Hope you all enjoy it though.

Battle Of The Year- September 20

Sawyer from Lost is coaching a dance crew?! Hold on a second while I stop to roll on the floor laughing.

Verdict: I’m not lying when I say I laughed through this entire trailer. They don’t want us to take this seriously, right? Because for a second it seemed like it.

Prisoners-September 20

Aside from his role in Les Mis and his appearances as Wolverine, Hugh Jackman films have a tendency to come and go quietly. That’s not to say these aren’t good films, they just don’t end up having the head of steam you would think a movie headlined by Hugh Jackman would have. The same goes for pretty much every Jake Gylenhaal movie since Broke Back Mountain. This trailer looks like Prisoners has some great acting and a pretty good storyline but it may suffer from the problem pointed out above.

Verdict: I’m rooting for it but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I see this as an option on demand and I say to myself, “Hey, I remember wanted to see this,” and then I ultimately choose another movie.

Rush-September 20

For the first portion of this trailer there were two things that I couldn’t get out of my head-

1. There’s no way I can take Thor’s haircut seriously in this movie.

2. This has to be a sequel to Talladega Nights based on Jean Gerard. When’s he going to pop up?

But when the trailer for Rush wanted me to take it seriously, I did. I don’t believe that this trailer emphasizes the friendship between these to racers as well as it’s previous trailers but I do think that it does a good job getting the audience excited.

Verdict: It looks like Ron Howard has created a film worth seeing. It’s tough to go against Ron Howard’s direction. It’s just unfortunate that Thor took it too far and listened to Howard’s hair suggestions as well.

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2- September 27

I won’t lie to you, I chuckled at the “There’s a leek in the boat” line and then there was a the vegetable. Get it?

Other than that, you’re kid is going to love this movie but you certainly won’t.

Verdict: Try to have fun bringing you’re son and daughter to this one. The rest of us without kids will be happy we don’t have to.

Don Jon- September 27

I like that Joseph Gordon-Levitt wrote and directed this. It looks like a different and quirky romantic comedy that could even do something come award season. It looks like the right type of movie to get Gordon-Levitt started in more than just acting. I’m not really sure how you make a full movie on your girlfriend catching you watch porn, but the trailer shows that there’s a lot more going on than just that. The relationships portrayed in the trailer look interesting and most importantly they look authentic. That’s what the draw to this movie is going to be. I could almost see this as being this year’s Silver Linings Playbook.

Verdict: I think this one is a must see if only to see Gordon-Levitt sing Good Vibrations on the top of his lungs.